Continuing the tradition I started last year, I will once again be presenting ornithological ornaments to my nieces on Thanksgiving Day. You may remember earlier in the year I mentioned that another niece arrived in March. That’s why there are two birds. Although I have it on good authority I may be hauling three birds with me next year to Thanksgiving!

Past the remnants of calyx you fly,
Downward,
then Upward,
and Poemander spy.
—from The Hypanthium; Harvest 1826

I love it when apples get so dark it’s as if night herself has touched them. Sometimes an apple will become so dark, one can see the stars come out on its very skin. Each apple has its own set of constellations unique to itself, which each have their own names, stories, and rhymes to remember. The night sky on an apple is divided into five sections, or pentaspheres, which run vertically according to the points on the seedchamber.

In the far past, men had attempted to document these secret constellations, but to learn the lore of one single apple would take longer than the lifetime of the apple itself. To catalog the constellations of an entire orchard’s harvest is a task beyond the lifetime of men. Upon their acceptance of the task’s indomitable folly, man decided it was best instead to eat them.

Here is another rhyme from the Hypanthium for you to enjoy.

Tropic of Pericarp,
Tropic of Perianth,
Follow the stemwell
And discover the path.

Harry Lampert, the illustrator who created the DC Comics superhero The Flash, passed away today. He was 88.

Once I had the pleasure of watching the Allies liberate a town from the clutches of a Nazi occupation. The General of the Axis forces was a thick-lipped man, and the fattest weasel I had ever seen. After the Allies had surrounded them, the General emerged from the tank waving a white handkerchief in an up-and-down motion using the weak-wristed method. The Americans and British soldiers approached to accept the German’s surrender. Suddenly, the General produced his pistol and fired at the infantrymen. The Allies mowed him down, and his limp body flopped into the dirt.

It was great fun. I had been invited to the battle by one of the reenactors of the 509th Parachute Infantry Batallion. Aside from driving tanks around and shooting at one another and whatnot, they also take great pride in honoring the memory and sacrifice made by veterans who fought to keep us free. The following is an experience from reenactor Christopher Cundiff:

… After the battle on Sunday, I ran up to the spectator line to hand some shell casings to some kids, when I saw an older gentleman sitting in a wheel chair. He motioned me to come over to him and he congratulated me on a good show.

His wife standing behind him said he was a veteran of the Battle of the Bulge. He shook his head and I think my heart started pounding. I was in awe. I held out my hand to the man and said, “Thank you for everything sir, and God bless you.” His gaze turned to my M-1 Carbine and he motioned to hold it. I pulled back the bolt to make sure it was clear and handed it over to him. He sat and stated at it for a while. He then said, “God I lived with this for a long time,” shaking his head.

Then his wife bent down and said, “You don’t have to anymore.” The man started to cry. “Ouch,” I thought. He handed the gun back to me and sobbed. Then his son asked if he could shoot a picture of a couple of reenactors in including myself saluting his father. We go into a tight line and in unison we saluted … If there was one thing that I got out of the whole weekend, it was spending three minutes with that veteran. He helped me understand. It made me understand the responsibility that we have to truly honor one of the “greatest generations.” That moment with stay with me for a long time.

The shrunken heads were a big hit at the Mercuriosity Shop during Trick-or-Treating on Halloween night. I do, however, have three heads left over. Yes, three pocket-sized shrunken heads that I will be happy to give away for FREE!

If you would like a shrunken head (one head per household, please), email me with your name and address (no P.O. Boxes) at ned@mintchaos.com. Four to six weeks delivery. And please—email your information to me instead of posting it, unless you’d like lots of peple putting you on some junkmail list. Email me quickly. There are only three heads left, and when the last one is gone, it’s all over!

We seemed to have gotten through All Hallowed’s Eve unscathed, which brings us to All Hallowed’s Day. What that means is today is the day of the hallowed, or even halo-ed. You know—saints! So how many saints will be lurking around today? Who knows? But I have pulled a lovely book from the Shop’s Librarium called Lucy’s Eyes and Margaret’s Dragon: The Lives of the Virgin Saints. It tells the stories of 13 virgin girls and their gruesome ends. Decapitation, mutilation, incineration, flagellation, and dancing with foxes as recreation. It’s a book of salvation (and the band played on…).

But seriously, it’s a perverse and sadistic little book. Truly. You’d be surprised how much trouble these girls got into trying to join the church. Although the whole goriness of the thing is offset by the sweet and innocent tone of the illustrations by Giselle Potter, who, incidently wrote the book as well.

So, Happy All Saints Day!