So. I am in a friendship with a group that reminds me of a friendship of the past and it disturbs me. Here it is. A few years back I was friends with a group of people. They were hateful towards many people and just plain acted like idiots. They decided that they hated my brother, also a member of the group, and started making fun of him. He decided not to be the butt boy any more and left the group. I went with after, discovering that there is no way I could be a good brother and be friends with these people. They continue on today probably still not understanding why they were being jerks.

Well I am in another situation like this, only instead of me being hateful with them, they are being hateful to me. I can't get through a conversation with these people with out them taking at least one jab at me. What’s even more funny is that these very "wonderful friends" of mine point out to me that I am a private person who never opens up to anyone. Thing is that I have opened up to many people even people I hardly know, but I never have to them. I wonder why...

Any way, I ramble the entire point of this post is that I can see where this "friendship" is going. It is going the same direction that my brothers went with his friends. I don't want that to happen, but I don't know what to do about it. I am, more and more, not wanting to spend time with these people, but I don't want it to end like that, and it is not like it can happen like Shaun’s did. One of them is my room mate.

I don't know, it took one of their girl friends to yell at them about making fun of me to make me see what was happening. I just knew that I felt horrible whenever I hung out with them. The explanation was right in front of my nose, I just needed to take a step back to see it. And sometimes I wonder why I have a hard time trusting people. I need to make friends that aren't jerks... This sucks.

So. I got my first deer this Friday night. I was traveling down Dearing (Ironic I know) Road, and a deer popped out in front of me. I hit it. Launched it into the air and never saw it again. But the memento it left behind was a truly beautiful thing. So now I have to come up with $500 for the deducible. I am taking donations anytime. The funny thing is that not even a week ago I spent about $500 on Computer parts for a new computer and now I can't give it back. Now that is what you call Ironic...

In other news I have found a church. It is in Albion. It is called real life ministries. I have but one complaint about it and that is that the worship is a bit too uppity for me. It is one of those high charismatic Pentecostal type churches, even though they are not Pentecostal. So the worship kind of strikes me odd and makes me uncomfortable, but I don't go for the worship. I go for the pastor. Scott is one of the coolest pastors I know and he is a very discerning man, which you don't find much in pastors today. He teaches on things I need to hear and that is the cool thing about him. Any ways, If you are in Spring Arbor/Albion area, you should come and check out Real Life Ministries. It is totally cool.

Which MegaTokyo Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

It sucks to be dull witted and I will be the first to admit it. I am dull witted not cleaver and just over all dumb. I try to hang out with my friends and be witty and all it does for me is gives them matterial to make me the bud of everyones jokes. I always seem to be put in that position, no matter who I hang out with. they see fresh meat to rip into, and I don't know why. Fact of the matter is neither do they. They say I am just easy to pick on. I know this is a very stupid thing to be blogging about, but being made fun of really hurts me. It wounds me in ways I can't explain. I guess it is because I was the most made fun of kid in middle school and those wounds haven't healed yet. perhaps they never will. All I know is I can only put up with so much and then I snap, and This is just one of those moments when I have snapped. I am just really pissed and not at my friend, but at myself, because I can't get back at him with my dull wit. I have no ability to come up with stuff on the fly and all I can do I sit there and take it, or try to retaliate with some stupid comeback that will only give him more material to rip into me. I hate this. Why do I always get put in those situations?